That's from Psalm 73 (verses 21 and 22), and that's exactly how I felt yesterday as I tried to digest the news of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT. I couldn't put together a coherent thought on the matter. There was just anger and frustration. I felt like a senseless, brute beast, with no understanding of how this could possibly make any sense and only the ability to fall back on instinctual reactions. I've been trained, essentially, my whole life not to use certain words because they are "bad words", so my instincts don't involve saying them out loud, and I only ever do so with much deliberation, but because I have ears and have had them consistently for nearly 29 years, I know these words well, and my thoughts were a blue streak. What is wrong with people?! was the overall gist and was quickly followed up by God help/have mercy on us... Then How do we stop this? How do I stop this?! What must I do to "be the change I want to see in the world"?? I don't know... These and a sigh are all I can give voice to as I think about what happened.
I think that even if we weren't in the middle of Advent, this song would have come to mind. It was the first one I thought of yesterday. A Mannheim Steamroller rendition. Veni, veni Emmanuel...
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